Drew Droege
Making the yuletide gay this holiday season is Drew Droege: comedian, Chloë Sevigny impressionist, and playwright of Messy White Gays. In his interview On the Couch this week, read more about his most embarrassing moment on the job, the way Carol Burnett could make his day, and how he really feels about the Wicked movie. And this is just a (somewhat more PG) taste of the wit and humor he pens in the play Messy White Gays, playing now at the Duke Theater.
Read our full interview with Droege below.
What do you consider to be your best asset?
I think I’m a really good judge of character – I can easily find my people at the party. And I can smell the awful ones immediately. Those are the creeps I love to put on stage. I can spot a monster at a coffee shop and instantly think, “time to go wig shopping!”.
What was your proudest moment?
When I was 16, I got cast in a community theatre production of “The Diary of Anne Frank”. That started it all for me & I’ve been chasing that high ever since.
What is your favorite drink?
Hot black coffee at breakfast. Bitter iced tea at lunch. Cold vodka martini at dinner.
What is your favorite food?
Reuben sandwich with pastrami & hot mustard. Oh and peppermint ice cream- whyyyy is it considered a holiday flavor? It is pure summer magic to me.
What is your favorite condiment?
Hot mustard, honey!
What is your current obsession?
Sleep.
If you could give up one of your vices, what would it be?
I honestly love all of my vices. Does that make me a pig? Oink?
What is the one professional accomplishment you long for most?
I’d love to remake “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” and play all of them.
What is the one thing you waste too much money on?
Restaurants. I dine out like a decadent tycoon on death row.
What is the one activity you waste too much time doing?
My phone. Okay- now that’s a vice I’d love to give up!
What do you consider to be the single greatest threat to your health?
Republicans.
What’s the single best trait you inherited or learned from your parents?
My Dad was hilarious and I grew up watching him playing a million characters while he made breakfast. My Mom is really great at seeing all sides of a story, which has shaped me as a writer. And she taught me to love movies.
What’s the single worst trait you inherited or learned from your parents?
I have no patience and I cannot stop talking.
What in the world most thrills you?
A deep uncomfortable conversation with a smart person.
What current trend in popular culture most irritates you?
We have every variety of entertainment at our fingertips. Whyyyy are we being force-fed into a monolith of whatever is trending the most? It makes me hate the thing. It’s unfair to the thing. I mean, “Wicked” is fine. But honey if you make me eat nothing but Elphaba burgers inside a Glinda-mobile, I wanna burn down Oz.
What was the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever experienced on the job?
I did a play in full drag, slipped in my heels, fell flat on my back, and knocked my wig off. I tried to improvise something about my “performance hair” that made zero sense. The audience gasped at my fall but then immediately turned on me for my dumb ad-lib and greeted me with silence for the rest of my performance.
What is your favorite place in the world?
I think it would be Melbourne, Australia. Best food, best coffee. Hottest friendliest people. Tropical and arty city that feels hidden away from the rest of the world.
What is the most important trait you seek in a romantic partner?
Calm. And kindness. I’m constantly seeking those qualities in myself, so when someone can offer either/both of those things to me, I’m hooked.
Do you prefer the company of dogs or cats?
Both. I’m genuinely offended when any dog doesn’t love me. And I’m completely smitten when any cat shuns me.
What would have to happen to make today the best day of your life?
Carol Burnett pulls up in front of my place and says, “Hop in, bitch. We’re going to the Eagle.”
What is your personal motto?
Keep your eyes on your own paper. And follow the green lights.