Colton Ryan
What do you consider to be your best asset?
I think I’m a Gemini.
What was your proudest moment?
Being on a Broadway stage for the first time is definitely up there. But also, I was first chair Tuba in our all-county band from the years 2006-08 so…
What is your favorite drink?
Bourbon. I’m a Kentuckian!
What is your favorite food?
Currently, the Taco Bell Cantina on the way to the train from Alice. She is temptation.
What is your favorite condiment?
Pepketch which is when I sprinkle pepper all over ketchup that I use to dip fries into. Or BBQ.
What is your current obsession?
Rolling out whilst catching up on “The Bachelor” or “The Challenge.” Makes you feel less shitty about the content.
If you could give up one of your vices, what would it be?
That fucking Taco Bell Cantina. She will kill me.
What is the one professional accomplishment you long for most?
To never stop working until I retire, and to make enough to retire.
What is the one thing you waste too much money on?
Sneakers. And, like, on the go outfits when you didn’t bring anything for that party or event so you buy something on the way, but I always convince myself it should be quality so I wear again but that never happens.
What is the one activity you waste too much time doing?
Starting a movie whilst on Instagram and having to restart the movie like four times. I’ve used “whilst” twice now!
What do you consider to be the single greatest threat to your health?
Jesus, that Taco Bell is too heavily involved in this questionnaire.
What is the single best trait you inherited or learned from your parents?
Understanding of injustice, and the ability to speak out against it.
What is the single worst trait you inherited or learned from your parents?
My mother’s sense of time.
What in the world most thrills you?
Working on things that I’m terrible at, like answering personal questions.
What current trend in popular culture most irritates you?
That kids stopped eating Tide Pods! We were all having so much fun!
What was the single most embarrassing moment you’ve ever experienced on the job?
Once, New Jersey Junior Senator Cory Booker told me I was a loser because I couldn’t take a selfie correctly. The selfie was of Katy Perry and I.
What is your favorite place in the world?
This king-sized bed I’m typing from.
What is the most important trait you seek in a romantic partner?
A whole lotta patience, honestly. I’m the worst!
Do you prefer the company of dogs or cats?
DOGS.
What would have to happen to make today the best day of your life?
Someone ending wealth inequality in America.
What is your personal motto?
Thank u, next.