Every day is opening night.

Drew Droege

Drew Droege

We’re lucky enough to welcome Drew Droege, writer of Messy White Gays, On The Couch this week. This new play, which is about to head into a three-day reading at the Soho Playhouse, is set against the backdrop of Hell’s Kitchen on a Sunday Morning. Brecken and Caden have just murdered their throuple-mate and stuffed him into a Jonathan Adler credenza. Unfortunately, they’ve invited friends over for brunch. Feel bad for them! They’re MESSY WHITE GAYS!

Drew is an alumnus of Upright Citizens Brigade, has written and performed in five solo shows, and has countless TV, Movie and Theatre credits, however, the start of his career didn’t begin so smoothly. You can read more about in our full interview below.

What do you consider to be your best asset? 
I’m able/inspired/required to generate my own work. I haven’t always seen a space for myself, so I’ve created one.

What was your proudest moment?
After I left my solo show, “Bright Colors And Bold Patterns”, I was replaced by the brilliant Jeff Hiller. One night, I snuck into the back of the theater and got to watch my play performed by this true genius. Witnessing people love him was probably the closest thing I’ve ever felt to being a parent. In my memory, I was wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora, but I don’t actually own those things. But yes, I am claiming to be Jeff Hiller’s mother.

What is your favorite drink?
I’m in love with vesper martinis now. But also negronis and manhattans are delicious – anything classic and punishing!

What is your favorite food?
Indian food! I’m a basic bitch for a chicken tikka masala, saag paneer, raita, naan…. bring it!

What is your favorite condiment? 
Hot mustard, please!

What is your current obsession?
I love getting spam texts like “Hello, how are you” and trying to keep the thread going as long as possible. It’s a great exercise, because you can’t be too wacky, or they will drop you. So I start off very vague and grounded and then work my way up to texting things like “I’m throwing a birthday party for my Honda- please bring a can of frosting and ZERO ATTITUDE!” Did I mention that I have no children?

If you could give up one of your vices, what would it be?
I genuinely love all of my vices. Life is for living! But I could shut my mouth more often. I mean, there’s nothing more satisfying than getting together with a friend and just venting our teeth apart, but sometimes I need to just LET IT GO, DROEGE!

What is the one professional accomplishment you long for most? 
Is it too late to get a guest spot on “Murder She Wrote”? I’d love to play a town kook on that.

What is the one thing you waste too much money on?
Massages! I cannot get enough, and if I had Mariah Carey’s money, I would follow in her footsteps and have someone rubbing on me at all times.

What is the one activity you waste too much time doing? 
Watching videos of paint swatches getting mixed, hot copper balls destroying things, and Boston terriers being adorable – the algorithms have found my drugs!

What do you consider to be the single greatest threat to your health?
Performing in abandoned restaurant basements, condemned alleys for ne’er-do-wells, haunted houses of worship with unstable creative types. Not of it and none of us are safe.

What’s the single best trait you inherited or learned from your parents? 
My parents have always loved telling stories. They were/are fantastic observers of the world and love sharing their experiences. These tales grow and grow with each recounting so that the details become more exaggerated/insane/hilarious/correct for the impact of the story. It was great training for me as a writer/ wildly over-the-top gay liar.

What’s the single worst trait you inherited or learned from your parents? 
I would say that along with their awareness came a ton of directionless rage. My dad was often very upset and had nowhere to put it. To be clear, I think anger is actually a good thing to acknowledge and process. I try hard to embrace mine and put it into my work – my new play, “Messy White Gays”, comes from my fury at white gay men. Hopefully I can channel it better than my father was able to.

What in the world most thrills you? 
Nothing makes me happier than when a dog or a cat decides that they want to be my friend.

What current trend in popular culture most irritates you?
I hate when people make videos of themselves watching other videos. Just post their video and comment on it like a proper reporter. Or make your own video like a proper creator. I don’t wanna watch you watching something!

What was the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever experienced on the job?
The very first night I ever got on stage to play Chloe Sevigny, the crowd hated me so much. It was bone-chillingly quiet, until I heard someone in the back of the theater whisper “what is happening?”. My mouth was so dry, and my toes were digging their way out of the ironically deconstructed half-mules I had shoved them into. I wanted the stage to swallow me whole. I had no inkling that it would still be my calling card, over 20 years later!

What is your favorite place in the world?
About 15 years ago, a college buddy got married in Sayulita, Mexico, and I swear it was pure paradise. A remote surfing and fishing village on the beach with incredible food, drinks, dancing, and iguanas. I hope it’s still like that, and I hope I ever get to go back.

What is the most important trait you seek in a romantic partner?
I think it would be patience. I’m not a very patient person, but I’m working on it. I admire it so much in others. The ability to just breathe and see the big picture and chill the f out. Oh, and kindness. I love playing terrible people in my job, but when we’re hanging out, please be calm and humane!

Do you prefer the company of dogs or cats? 
Yes and yes!

What would have to happen to make today the best day of your life? 
If I got a phone call from John Waters or Carol Burnett. Even if they just said “sorry, wrong number”.

What is your personal motto?
Yes, please!