Every day is opening night.

“I Get Around”

Ladies and gents,

Being a native of Los Angeles, California, the only mode of transportation I’m truly comfortable in is the automobile. Plop me in the air-conditioned, all-leather, roomy interior of some sedan(preferably German) and I’ll go just about anywhere. Give me a metrocard, however, and I’ll just sit home and read a good book. I don’t even mind the traffic that everyone, regardless of the population of his or her town, complains about. Or the stop lights. Or the hidden traffic cops on desolate stretches of highway. But, after decades and decades of being behind the wheel, I’ve been stripped of my license. I’ve had, as of late, a rather unfortunate series of what I consider very minor brushes with the law. Between my failing eyesight, my ever-ringing mobile phone, and my social lifestyle, I’m no longer considered fit for the road. So now I must depend on the kindness of strangers to get me from point A to point B. I’m like O.J. Simpson ever in need of my very own Al Cowlings (preferably traveling at a higher speed). Well, thank goodness for Uber!

Now, as enthusiastic as I am about driving, I’m equally disgusted by Halloween. A day in which we encourage our youngsters to go door to door to frighten their neighbors and then beg them for fattening sweets. I call it National Rudeness and Tooth Decay Day (if any of my loyal readers can think of a catchier name, I’m open to suggestions). So let’s just be thankful that we are officially 364 days away from having to face it all over again.

Tidbits from around town:

Spotted Joel Grey chatting with Carla Ruben inside Creative Edge Parties street front tasting room, while peering into their windows on Barrow Street.

Witnessed Daniel Radcliffe leading the standing ovation at a recent performance of A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder.

Saw Countess LuAnn de Lesseps sharing a cozy meal with her reportedly former boyfriend Jacques Azoulay. Rekindling the flame, perhaps?

As always, a toast of something sparkling to you and yours!